…the Opportunities & Challenges
In this time of pandemic, it has been such a time of uncertainty, loneliness, frustration, and fear. For others it has been all that as well as a time for getting quiet, reflecting and realization. Having exited the never-ending tread mill of an intense advertising profession previously, that’s where things ended up for me during this pandemic.
The decision to intentionally leave a career composed of ongoing travel, fast paced, intense deadlines and corporate pressure, was indeed planned. Although with 20/20 hindsight maybe it was not as well planned as it could have been. There were times when it really felt like I had fallen off that tread mill instead. Five years and having spent countless hours on what I call self-work, a completely different life has been created. Now with the pandemic and having more quiet time to reflect upon all this, I realized that, ‘WOW’, I am truly on my way to the intentional life I was hoping for when I originally stepped (or fell) out of the rat race.
Having graduated college, gotten married, moved across the country - from a small rural North Carolina community- and begun a 20+ year career--all in the same year mind you (and then basically undoing all that again in a one year period about 20 years later). It is an entertaining self-reflection on the levels of excitement, adventure and promise from both experiences though decades apart. With life changing transitions, there are always opportunities and challenges to be experienced. Here are some presented to me during this time:
OPPORTUNITIES:
BUILDING EXTENDED FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
Living across the country, vacations consisted of going east to visit family, for week at the Outer Banks and then a week around Christmas. Seeing the niece and nephews growing in amazing amounts over each 6 month period made me realize how fast life goes by. When I stopped to inspect the impact I wanted to have in my family, I realized this was not easily accomplished from 1200 miles away. So this move back was a chance to become a part of the lives of my immediate family. And the icing on the cake is that I have reconnected with cousins from all around the region that share unique childhood memories with me. This has opened a whole new world in which to build friendships I never imagined having.
FINDING A HOBBY
For years when filling out paperwork for a profile, introduction for a project, etc., when it came to the question of ‘what are your hobbies?’ …well as self declared workaholic; I had nothing to fill into those blanks. My folks raised my brothers and me as hard working, success driven, self-reliant individuals. Hobbies and relaxing were not something we experienced.
But now, after 5 years I am proud to say I have a hobby. And what a world I have missed out upon. The clarity received, the realization and the enjoyment found spending hours each Saturday and a few hours during the week searching to learn more. The depth of my growth as an individual has been remarkable through this. Creating the space to simply be and enjoy something aside from work, was something I had never let myself do.
SELF-WORK/SELF REFLECTION
During this concentrated time at home due to the pandemic, the ‘reflection upon all the self-reflection’ I have been doing over the last few years presented itself. Understanding areas of my life where I have been stuck, reaching out to coaches and advisors to assist in getting a path of clarity have all been getting me one step closer to reaching my goal of materializing a life I love. Being grateful for being content was a big realization for me. I saw it best described by author, Scott Miker who stated, ‘the key to being happy and successful at the same time is to learn how to be content without becoming complacent’. Miker says that by continuing to work to improve yourself you can become content without becoming complacent. That is one of my continuous goals.
CHALLENGES:
LEARNING HOW TO SLOW DOWN
The initial stages of the ‘slow down’ were hard. I couldn’t allow myself to just ‘be’. I was always ‘doing’ vs. ‘being’. Of course we are human beings, not human doings, but who had time to actually do anything about it? Slowing down takes a lot of time. I think about the beach time with family over the years. It would take me 3-4 days before I could begin relax, then it was time to pack up and leave. So much for slowing down. Changing an entire life trajectory, is a much more involved process and takes some time. And that is ok. It’s supposed to be that way. The miracle work accomplished by the process of time is fascinating.
OVERCOMING WORRY OF WHAT OTHERS THINK
Becoming comfortable in the knowledge that the only one that really has to care about what I do is me (and for me that also includes my spiritual walk with God). The ‘ah-ha’ arrived when I saw how self centered it was to think others were actually thinking all that much about what I was up to in life. What a light bulb moment! Of course, everyone has hundreds of things to contemplate and they really are not worried about what someone like me is doing at all.
Still, overcoming this for me is hard and intentional work that must be ongoing. The goals and dreams I have now are of a very different nature than those of the corporate world. When shared with others, reactions can be disappointing. There are the naysayers, well intentioned family members/friends and comments to be interpreted. So I must choose to continue work on my mindset to address this while forging the way to my happiness, not theirs.
EMBRACING THE ‘HERE AND NOW’
The present is truly our gift. Today is all we have, plus I had to throw the ‘here and now’ phrase in as a longtime fan of Kenny Chesney. The release of that single during this pandemic said it all for me really. Accepting that in the big picture of life, I really am where I am supposed to be right now. And if I flow with it vs. thinking I have to fight or control it, I am better served as well as all those around me. Seeing the present as a true gift seems to be a simple concept, but how quickly we allow our present to be filled with fretting over regrettable past experiences or worrying about future events. Yet for today, as I write this, I’m sitting on the front porch of my small farm house, with my Bouvier, Grace, looking out onto the pond across the way as the cattails are bending in the breeze and the birds chirp. ‘Living in the here and now’, there really is no better place to be.
Five years ago, Amanda made the decision to leave a corporate job at an international advertising agency to move back to the family farm to create a career and life she could love. She now can assist in her aging mother’s care and work as a professional communications consultant in her rural community at a much more meaningful pace. Here one of her goals of being an engaged member of a community while truly making a big difference in individuals’ lives can be realized. And all the while learning to enjoy having a hobby or too.